When battle was joined, it went exactly as GarGar had planned. The diversionary assault on the enemies left flank drew all the fire power the enemy had at its disposal. The center of GarGar’s line retreated slowly, and in orderly fashion. When the enemy paused to reload their canons, he let let loose a barrage that wiped out their artillery. It worked like a charm. As the cream of the crop of his cavalry charged the center, he basically split the enemy ranks into two. His infantry simply sorted the left from the right, accepted their surrender in gentlemanly fashion.
To add to his joy, the casualty rate was quite low. Out of thousands of combatants, the number of individuals killed or injured was obscenely low. A few hundred of the enemy died or were injured. Of his forces less than a hundred lost their lives and a few hundred were treated in the field hospital. Of course, the Prime Minister and his allies accused GarGar of conflating the casualty figures, but when his victorious army marched back in parade fashion, everyone could see that he spoke the truth.
Waiting for her beloved at the steps of the Great Cathedral, Queen Pirouette presented le Comte des Deux Chats with a meddle of exemplary valor, a gold coin with his likeness in profile on two ribbons that were yellow and light blue. As he knelt before her, she placed it around his neck and gave him a little tickle as she did so.