“Get out!” Shouted King GarGar at Sir PingBong, the Royal Taylor. “Get out before I have my hangman cut your head off!” At which point, His Majesty threw a hairbrush at the retreating hairdresser. “How dare you suggest such a thing!” Now what had the poor old man said to upset the King so? It was his measuring tape that was the agent of distress that day, having reported His Majesty’s waist at a wholesome forty inches.

“Liar!” Cried GarGar. “Treason!”

Just then, His Majesty’s valet du chambre arrived with his lunch. Underneath a shiny silver lid rested a platter with mouth-watering assortments of sweetmeats, sweet treats, and savory morsels. “No wonder I’m so fat,” he thought to himself with mounting frustration.